Stepping down

I believe one of the tough roles in a person life after being Mom is being Manager. I guess guys might get the taste of being Mom when they become managers. Its not that great or the Rosy picture that the world paints.

That moment when I stepped down from that role and moved on to a Individual Contributor role. I had bunch of ooohs and Aaaahs.  And yea great support and lots of advice from many. The advice varied from gender to gender and from the Role that person played to what they aspire to be. In short it was an advice not for me but what they think they might be doing or wanting to do.

However there were lots of sugar coated words. My bad I can read between lines and between minds and can exactly say what is going on in a person's mind.Starting from the person whom I do not wish to name.. He acts as if he is giving me a world of opportunities, He is sparing me time to take care of the kid while introducing a world of opportunities and what not ... and expects me to cry and beg so that I would cling to that role of Manager. To his shock I was calm and composed and my thinking " Oh come on.. you are not my Savior.. I saved your ass for years.. its not your decision..I am deciding to step down from that stupid role where you treated me like nothing and got all work done while the credit went to someone else..You and your stupid politics. Its not as if I don't get you. You try to save yourself and will never lift a finger for anyone else. So please ..I am like thank God .. I don't want to be in this role. My job is done here. If you were any more late than this we would have had a conversation around my moving out of company...."

Coming to the guys .. This was their reaction. "How could you even take such decision. What will society think. They will consider this as demotion. I can never imagine myself doing that . " My reply a smile and yes I did that. Society has a thing to say about everything anyone does but is never around to help you with anything in your world . So why bother...His reply its so easy to say this .. I smile and said I just did it. Let the society come and talk to my face ;)

Now the Girls. " Wow , you are amazing. I am impressed with your guts. I can never do what you did. I totally support you and understand your feelings. Its very important to give time to your family. phew wish I did that.." .. Now what they meant "..Serves you better. You are stupid, you took such a wrong decision.,I will never lose my position .. come on.. I don't have a say at home now I won't have a say in office too. I am so jealous that you are getting more time and still will get may be same salary but I report to so and so... and you will be reporting to... You are not a threat anymore.. one wicket down ... hehehe "

Now whats going on in many minds ... Some people confused that oh isn't she supposed to cry. Some wondering why the hell is she so calm. Some thinking why is she not reacting anymore. Did someone just die.  Some.. how the hell is she smiling. Isn't this a demotion. Oh wait she is reporting to her peer. OMG how horrible is that. I bet she is just waiting to move to a different company. She will leave soon.

Now here is what I think. I just love all the attention. Thank you for wasting so much time. Now get back to business. I get to be the real me now. The most powerful , The Employee. No one is going to tell me how I should behave and I wont be a sandwich anymore. I wont be the bad cop. I am not going to be responsible for anyone other than me. I am going to use my brain. I am going to love everything I do .. and do only things I love. I wont have to spend my personal time to fix things professionally. I don't have to build so called bridges which can never be built between on site and off shore teams. I can innovate. I can learn new things. I will be at peace and yes I will get to spend time with my kid ;) .

Of all I am going to be happy. This doesn't come with a price. This comes with a decision to say ..No. I had enough and I know I did right for me .

Long way to go and loads of lessons to be learnt. This one will be etched on my brain.